loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
