Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
