First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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