U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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