she was so not down for the gang bang
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I CAN MOONWALK!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
