Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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