i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
