Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
