wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
