I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I am spending my child support on dildos
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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