omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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