the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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