with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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