Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
