So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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