do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
