i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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