You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
