If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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