Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
what day is it and did you see me today?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You're a waste of cheezeits
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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