yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
