There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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