Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
