Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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