oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
