her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
