Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
