Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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