I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
