well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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