yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
