my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize