i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
