Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
