Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
