Sorry, I don't speak sober.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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