I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
