Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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