I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
