I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
