To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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