If i could tip my vagina, i would.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
