Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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