I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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