We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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