even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
