Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
