I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
