My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
