Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
