just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
