listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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