My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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