I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
