come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize