Me too!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
