i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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