He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
