The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
pray to the hookup gods
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize